HoE

This is a real story about a girl named Bitch. Don’t expect me to respect you, coz you do not deserve it. I know the true you, even if you wear a mask or what so ever. But I can give you around of applause, such a perfect masquerade. You are actually a hoe. Being an oldest sister, u should know how to be a good example. Where gone your dignity? Don’t you ever embarrass of yourself? Are you trying to be a western girl? Please, it isn’t appropriate here, it makes you became a cheap girl actually. Your younger sibling saw you were fucking with one of you bf on your room. Shame on you! How can you act like nothing happen? He punched at your door, to wake you up, to save your family’s dignity but you don’t want to listen. Should I remind you that your relatives are anywhere outside and you just bring your bf into your room and making sex. Soon after, your cousin saw you two naked in bed while the guest still outside. I think it is an exact word to call you bitches.

The next day, u lied to your mum, saying there’s nothing going on last night and your sibling actually telling a lie. Most shocking is your mum trusted u. But I think she just being denial coz she’s doing the same thing too. Living with her fiancé just like husband and wife. A widow and widower are together with invalid bond. What an awful family.

One seems not enough huh? You kinda addicted to sex. Having more boyfriend and they just have you like that. Easy. How can you not aware that they just want to play around with you? You are such a moron. Feels like a hot chick when surrounded by men everywhere, frequently brings one of your boys to make out at home. Such a hoe. The most shocking thing is your mum allowed each of them to ‘wear’ you. She also gives permission for your guys to stay in your home overnight. In your room specifically. Notice that, this girl actually lost his biological father few years ago. But, it wasn’t a ticket for her to become prostitute.

I hate this girl because she’s hiding behind her innocent look. A simple girl but a real fake. A slut! Pretend she is religious when she actually just wears it as mask. Now, you must have been wondering how I can know much about this girl. Her sibling told me everything. Keep on telling me how sick it is to have such sister. He asks me to keep it silent and all the conversation is only between us. But today, I’m really sorry for him coz let it out in here. The girls had become one of a thing for us to be in fight. I really hope thereafter we don’t bother about her no more. It got nothing to do with me as well. End of this and everything terminated here.

I pick one appropriate song from my favourite artist, Hollywood Undead entitled Bitches. :p

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x6vJsHCxBi4

Cut the Crap

Yet again, I’m out of mood. I don’t think that I’m a type of grumpy person but today, something is pissing me off. You may take a guest, but the answer is no other than FB. I still wonder why everyone keep on trying to increase their number of friends in FB, but then hiding all information about them self. Doesn’t make any sense. Don’t they worry of stalker? Why they don’t presently removing the unknown person in FB or customizing their profile in order to ensure only their close friends are able to view them. Unlike my irritating friends; keep approving stranger’s request and subsequently not even interact with them. Isn’t that weird? Or is that some kind of showing off; who had the most friends are famous. I just don’t get it. Some of my friends keep on viewing my profile and photo. Reading every single word I wrote on my wall but don’t want to let me know anything about them. It isn’t fair! Just now I keep my photo private to those people. Serve you right.

Concerning the same thing, a friend of mine which can be considered as my bosom friend is now changing. She was a shy girl before, low profile, nerd and lack of self confidence. But when she have a FB account, she became arrogant. Claiming every single add to be her friend in FB is admiring her. At first, I thought she was just joking but then I realize that she mean it that way. She’s struggling to increase her friends’ number. Notify you what; they get easy excess to your info. She told me this, “In FB we should put our status as single so that guy will comes to us. That’s why I went to single from being a relationship”. I thought she was just joking, then I said “You’re naughty” but then she replied “We should be clever to maintain our lure to those guys, like me”. Then suddenly I got sickness. Eeu... U r bit too much. Haughty! Over confident as well. I got lot more friends than you do. Plus, I’m not just randomly approving them. Not the same as what u did. Excuse me miss, is that what it feels like to have an access to internet frequently? She became obsess once she is able to online more often. She just a kampung girl, who do not have internet access at home and she doesn’t even have laptop. Now u know how she feels once staying at hostel with the facility provided.

It’s all I got to say now. I just want to speak it out in words. And I’m sure none of the person I’ve mention here will read this post. But if they do, wake up buddy. Maybe I write this just because I feel upset. Hope no hard feeling thereafter. Till then, I would like to put one of my favourite songs for the time being for you to enjoy. Below are the link and the lyric. Get pleasure from it! Thanks for reading.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDMTe_hN6pQ

Love The Way You Lie Lyrics

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
Love the way you lie

[Verse 1 - Eminem]
I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe
I can't breathe but I still fight all I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight

High off on love, drunk from my hate
It's like I'm huffin' paint and I love it
The more I suffer, I suffocate
Right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates
Me, she fuckin' hates me, and I love it, Wait!
Where you going? I'm leaving you.
No you ain't. Come back. We're running right back

Here we go again, it's so insane
Cuz when it's going good, it's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his back
She's Lois Lane
and when it's bad, it's awful
I feel so ashamed, I snap "Who's that dude?"
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on him, I never stood so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Verse 2 - Eminem]
You ever love somebody so much,
you could barely breathe when you with 'em?
You meet, and neither one of you even know it hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills you still get 'em
Now you gettin' fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em
You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair, scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're with 'em

Mr .(?). is the culprit ..(?)..
Shawty say, you'd best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya cuz today,
That was yesterday, yesterday is over and it's a different day
Sound like broken records playing over
But you promised her, next time you'd show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo Game
but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it "window pane"

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Verse 3 - Eminem]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same team
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
When it comes to love you're just as blinded

Baby please come back, it wasn't you. Baby it was me.
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
I told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time? There won't be no next time
I apologize, even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games, I just want her back. I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again,
Ima tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
Just gonna

[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear my cry
Well that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

p/s such a long song, perfect duo. She’s hottie and he’s the best rapper.

* words *

Today I’m a kind of free due to cancellation of tuition class. On weekdays, I’m tutoring some students for mathematics subject from 2 till 5pm. I provided three hours duration to teach and assist them. All of them, which is not many are about to sit for their UPSR and PMR. So, I try to help them in order to understand maths better. Actually, this wasn’t my idea. But due to the demand from their parents, I finally agree to take this responsibility. I don’t know why these kids are not interested in mathematics as I was during the same age with them. They said maths is hard which I never thought it was, maybe once in a while. But I think maths is much easier compare to BM which we can consider as an easy subject. Am I correct? Hehehe...

What am I talking about? Actually, the reason for me to write this post is actually to come clean about what did I posted on my FB wall recently. Honestly, I felt alone yesterday coz no one here in my house. So, I just randomly pick a quote which in relation to alone and got it write on my wall. It didn’t come from me and I don’t really mean it. But some of my friends got me wrong and tried to express their opinion about happiness. A little too much coz they taking it seriously. Relax buddy, this is just a ‘hit and miss’ quote.

“All of our unhappiness comes from our inability to be alone.” ~Jean

My mistake! My main point is to let other know that I’m alone. It doesn’t mean that I’m unhappy and lonely. I didn’t realize that it was the predicted meaning primarily. Whatever. They can bite their own tongue. There after, we have a little argument about that trifling thing. That was the time I own up and said “If we r able to socialize, doesn’t mean that we’ll never b alone. Alone doesn’t always mean that we r unhappy. Might be sometimes but not at all times. But if ever the word SAD was the 1st word used instead of happiness, it'll makes no different in term of semantic i think...“. A soon after it comes to a conclusion that the spat was about the semantic issue. A huge relief afterward. Fuh~

At this instant, I don’t feels like I want to fool around in FB. Thus, I’m blogging. I just want to pay no heed to FB stuff for a while. Since the status we post in FB will be read by other, every single word we used is important. Person who reads will also judge us by the sentence we used. I myself was doing the same think too when reading my friends’ status in the news feed. So to let myself know, beware of what u write. Above all, choose appropriate words to convey the proper meaning of what we are trying to say. Cheese~~

♥ ♫ ♥Not Afraid♥ ♫ ♥

The second time I fall for this song. I love it more than before just like I owez do when listening to Hollywood Undead’s songs. I’m so into it. I love the lyric as well even if so many curses here and there. I can feel the energy, the enthusiasm is filling my soul. It’ll never be boring to hear it yet again, each and every time. This type of song is absolutely my taste right after I comprehend the actual meaning of anger and grudge. But I know my limit, listening to these type of songs is the way to let go all redundant feelings, not more than that. Music is my best friend in every mood that I had. There’s always the right one for any specific moment. Let’s enjoy this!

Not Afraid Lyrics

[Chorus]
I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Hola if you feel that you’ve been down the same road

[Intro]
Yeah, It’s been a ride…
I guess i had to go to that place to get to this one
Now some of you might still be in that place
If you’re trying to get out, just follow me
I’ll get you there

[Verse 1]
You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay ‘em
But you won’t take the sting out these words before I say ‘em
Cause ain’t no way I’m let you stop me from causing mayhem
When I say ‘em or do something I do it, I don’t give a damn
What you think, I’m doing this for me, so fuck the world
Feed it beans, it’s gassed up, if a thinks its stopping me
I’mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
And all those who look down on me I’m tearing down your balcony
No if ands or buts don’t try to ask him why or how can he
From Infinite down to the last Relapse album he’s still shittin,
Whether he’s on salary, paid hourly
Until he battles out or he shit just battles out of him
Whichever comes first, for better or worse
He’s married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
His gift is a curse, forget the earth he’s got the urge
To pull his dick from the dirt and fuck the whole Universe

[Chorus]

[Verse 2]
Ok quit playin’ with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
I shouldn’t have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it’s a rap
You said you was king, you lied through your teeth
For that fuck your feelings, instead of getting crowned you’re getting capped
And to the fans, I’ll never let you down again, I’m back
I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
Let’s be honest, that last Relapse CD was “ehhhh”
Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
Relax, I ain’t going back to that now
All I’m tryna say is get back, click-clack BLAOW
Cause I ain’t playin’ around
There’s a game called circle and I don’t know how
I’m way too up to back down
But I think I’m still tryna figure this crap out
Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn’t
This fucking black cloud still follow’s me around
But it’s time to exercise these demons
These motherfukers are doing jumping jacks now!

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
And I just can’t keep living this way
So starting today, I’m breaking out of this cage
I’m standing up, Imma face my demons
I’m manning up, Imma hold my ground
I’ve had enough, now I’m so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now

[Verse 3]
It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly I probably did it subliminally for you
So I could come back a brand new me, you helped see me through
And don’t even realise what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they can do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
My World, haters can make like bees with no stingers, and drop dead
No more beef flingers, no more drama from now on, I promise

To focus solely on handling my responsibility’s as a father
So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof like my daughters and raise it
You couldn’t lift a single shingle on it
Cause the way I feel, I’m strong enough to go to the club
Or the corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up
Cause I’m raising the bar, I shoot for the moon
But I’m too busy gazing at stars, I feel amazing and

[Chorus]
I’m not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We’ll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just let you know that, you’re not alone
Holla if you feel that you’ve been down the same road

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5-yKhDd64s

~Gomenasai~

Sorry for all the things I’ve done to you. I never expect this would happen to us. Now we’ve lost it all in sudden. How can I love u is a very special thing to be explained. I don’t even notice in which moment I realize it was just a crush. My heart was too empty. Too many spaces before u moved in. I thought u were the one for me till I meet him. Since then, my feeling for u started to fade away each day. He’s so kind to me. I love u both. But I can only treat u as my friend. Full stop. I’m so sorry. I’m so in love with him and I just can’t please u as it was before, after declaring with him. U keep asking for more and your jealously is the destroyer actually. Till one moment I’ve became conscious that I can’t afford to take it any longer. Whenever I’m with him, u can’t accept the fact that I’m belong to him. I didn’t mean to hurt you. So that I let u go without any words of goodbye. This could be my terrible mistake but I never regret it. U should know by now, it was the best time for you to let me go. Thanks for letting me be with him and even if there’s a resentment left for me, I deserve it.

“Falling out of love is tough, falling for betrayal is worst.”

Now I’m alone, sitting on my bed n listening to the sound of falling rain. Loud drops of heavy rain and I’m thinking... It’s been a while I’ve been idle in blogging. Well, I’m a bit indolent to share my feelings to the viewer. Back to three years ago, at the time when I’m a broken hearted, there’s always something to write. Vomit it out in my blog and let the readers make their own speculation concerning me. Coz I rather let it out in words and it feels just like I’m writing my diary. That was the time when I am totally paranoid. I refuse to share my own sentiment to anyone.. Yes! I mean everyone including my friends.
Flashing back to 2007, most of my blog post was about anger and disenchantment. That was the previous me. I’ve been in frustration and I know how awful it is when you are losing grip in your belief. Which u certainly never thought it will be to u. I don’t even know what else to do other than to regret it along with weeping. I’m blaming myself coz being such a moron for letting someone ruin my life by means of betraying my trust.
Enough with that, I’m about to tell u on how I move ahead and picking off all the pieces in order to fix it back. Such a hard thing to be done actually, but really worth it. God sometimes wants us to learn a lesson in such complicated ways. We may not know what He wants until we get better than what we ever wanted. At that time, we will realize that we ought to have much better. That is more or less to what I feel now. Keep in mind that, He’s always with us. Just say your prayer, He will be there to listen and answer it.
Although beforehand you’re the one I wish I could forget but still I can’t erase, by now I know you don’t deserve me. Being such a denial sometimes help us to get through. Once in a while, we possibly knew that something is just isn’t right, but we just shut our eyes to see the truth then keep on going. It might be a good stride but then it may become worst. So please.. Don’t ever be careless particularly when it comes to relation. Always remember to take caution in what we do. That’s all. Good Luck & God Bless You.